Man Down!! (everybody laugh)

On Saturday I was at work and so poor Amy found herself in charge of Atlas duty.

He is both of ours and so this usually isn’t a problem, we take turns in walking him, and this usually goes without any problems.

We both train him the same way and walk out daily with the most fabulous bum bag (also affectionately known and the fanny pack) which is stuffed with tasty treats to ensure we train at every possible opportunity.

If anyone ever tells you that teaching a dog to “heel” is easy … they are lying and absolutely not worth listening to. Its gruelling and awful and nine times out of ten doesn’t work! it is THE most frustrating task Amy and I have ever had to overcome, and I’m fairly certain that every other owner of a head strong pup will agree. Atlas is nearly 11 months old and we have been preaching the same old story since he was 8 weeks old. believe me when I tell you this that two seconds of sense after a “watch me” or “with me command” can really lull you into a false sense of “he’s finally cracked it and we will walk politely”, you’ve nailed I, you have a slack lead and your enjoying your walk, you finally relax and then BAM out of nowhere that pesky Autumn leaf floats past and its lost, your back to hanging onto a crazed dinosaur with all your might trying to gain some control so that every passer by doesn’t point and laugh at the huge German shepherd with a floppy ear playing with the leaves with the stressed out human attached.

So, I return from work to find Atlas in the kitchen and Amy in a deflated heap on the couch. She then proceeds to tell me that he’s been the devil on their walk and that he’s in the kitchen to calm down (I’m not convinced she used the word devil and possible had a few choice words to call him, I guess that made her feel better). she then proceeds to tell me the story.

They were walking in the park and all was going well until our delightful pup decided he wanted to go and play with another dog. He proceeded to drag poor Amy, who at this point was struggling to hold on as he was like an unexploded bomb on a lead, over to said dog through a wet patch of grass. She slipped and down she went. She’s now on the floor, in the mud with Atlas still desperate to play with the passing dog.

Well not really sure how to take in this information and obviously knowing how she felt as it wasn’t so long ago the great oaf ran after a pigeon at top speed and sent me flying across the field on the end of a lunge line, to which he did come back rather quickly but was so excited with the whole affair he lost his mind and tried to hump me whilst I was on the floor, luckily for me the local football team weren’t practicing that day,  I obviously didn’t laugh (in front of her) but asked if anyone had come to help her up …. the answer was a definitive no and that the people around just looked at her like the village idiot who has a dog she cant only stay upright when holding on to but cant control at all in public. We’ve all been there!

Poor Amy, I think she has now forgiven him and made friends with him but I’m going to guess it’ll be me on park duty for a little while until our angel can practice some self control, Its ok you can laugh now!

Subsequently I was intrigued as to how much he now weighs. At last count he was 34kgs and that wasn’t so long ago so off I trundled on Sunday with Atlas in tow to the local pets at home and asked to use the scales, on he sits proud as punch and I watch as the numbers go up and up.

Here’s where they finally stopped …


That’s 37.8kg, 83.3 lbs and 5.95 stone

No wonder he had her over, the massive tank, maybe we should do a pool at what weight we think hell finish on haha !!

2 thoughts on “Man Down!! (everybody laugh)

  1. Yes I’ve been there … on the end of a lead with a K9 who to all intense & purposes is
    A) Deaf to EVERY word I utter
    B) Looks like he’s NEVER seen the inside of a training school
    C) Is doing his very own re enactment of the Battle of Agincourt ~ he plays the part of both sides for added effect
    D) Has #smugface at my demise
    E) Has the nerve to look ‘Cute’ to every passerby before giving me the evil eye then winking at me before diving on the nearest pile of fox poo then wiping it down the leg of my jeans
    Need me to go on ????
    PS my saving grace he’s not tried to sh*g me in public ……. yet
    PSS Give my regards to Amy & tell her ‘Dog Training Lady’ assured me K9 wouldn’t run into me & knock me over as he DOES have a sense of spacial awareness ….. she LIES I’ve been on my arse more times than I care to say ~ skittled over by a puppy who seem to have earned a place in the UK ten pin bowling team

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh you and I seem to have the same dog ! I will pass my regard onto Amy who I think has just about forgiven him haha ! Fox poo has the most disgusting smell, luckily that’s one I’ve not had to deal with , with the current pup however we once had a small white poodle … he loved the stuff !! trying to get that and the smell out of a wool coat was never an easy task.
      Ill await your post about being humped in public by Otter haha !! it will happen I promise 😉
      Spacial awareness … whats that?? haha !!
      Why do we do this to ourselved?? Well be sure to look out for Otter when team GB Bowling comes in haha ! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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